Life on the rollercoaster

Last week was an exciting week, the paperwork pushers seemed to be moving at a good pace, and LOA's were coming in fast and furious. Based on the number received by so many, I calculated that we could get our LOA by the end of April, and that would let us travel in late July. This week, they are trickling in very, very slowly and there is another Chinese holiday next week that will cause them to have Monday off so the rollercoaster just bottomed out again. And I am back to hoping for August travel. This is why I should stay off the rumor boards (but I just CAN'T stop myself from peeking to see where we might fall in the 'big wait'). The uncertainty is the hard part. It would be so much easier to cope if we had a definite waiting time and knew when we might be allowed to travel, then we could fit all the other puzzle pieces of life around this time, but its just not that way, and I guess, really life in general isn't that way, so we'll just keep doing what we do, til we know something different.

Lots of LOA's!

This week has been a banner week for LOA's (letters of acceptance). This important step means that the Chinese government agency responsible for reviewing all the paperwork sent to China has completed their review and you have been officially asked to be your child's parents!

This is very exciting! I am on a group that charts activity and based on this week's activity, if the present pace were to continue we could get our LOA by the end of April! And then, we could travel in the summer before Taylor and Emilee have to return to school! I'm daring to hope! I'm praying for an April LOA.

Nicole, are you watching!!!?? You are no.33 on the RQ list! I am no.46! Look at all the pink, girl, we are getting closer by the day!

The long wait

I'm still on the theme of living for today - Once a family receives their LID, or log in date there's absolutely nothing to do regarding bringing your child home but wait. It doesn't do any good to fill out any more forms yet, although I may print out out a couple we'll need once we're notified of our LOA (letter of acceptance) but on average it's taking 77 days from LID to LOA and we are at day 7. That's 11 weeks from LID to LOA so we've waited 1 week and have another 10 to go. And that's if things go according to average. I don't even let me mind go to the place where some people seem to languish in the twilight zone of dossier review even longer. So, I keep telling myself, be joyful, be joyful, be joyful.

I am joyful that our oldest daughter and her husband are expecting their first child! Tom and I are going to be grandparents! I am totally full of joy about that! They are going to be rockin' good parents. I am joyful that our 17 yr. old just got back from Guatemala this morning around 1:45 a.m. and her first words spoken to me as she walked across the parking lot when I picked her up was "I'm going back". She left part of her heart in Guatemala and I know that she will go back and work some more for the children she met there. I am joyful that she has just landed a good part time job at a time when they are so hard to find and grateful for a friend who spoke in her behalf to give her the edge to be noticed in a large pool of applicants. I am joyful for our 6 yr. old who says something outrageous every day, her wit and insight just crack me up and keep me on my toes. And I am oh so joyful for a husband who is my best friend, he is so selfless, and solid, he keeps me grounded when I become scattered, he works so hard for his family.

This wait will be long, but we will have a beautiful spring, and a fun summer. A friend today graciously offered to take us swimming with them and I am so looking forward to the opportunity for fun in the sun with the kids. So I will look forward to sharing all this joy with Jennifer one day.

LID! LID! LID!

Life is good. We are logged in, let the real wait begin! I feel like I learned a true life lesson this week. I have been frustrated at a system I have no control over, a program that at times seems to have no coherent functioning and it's made me angry. And that serves no purpose. And I think I needed to learn the lesson that I'm not in control so I just need to lean on the One who is and enjoy each day life brings so that when we meet Jennifer she will know that she is in a family full of joy. Our agency has worked hard this week to make sure we were logged in and I so appreciate their tireless efforts. We have a log in number, they are going to keep on until they get us an official log in date but its one day this week so we know now that we are looking at approximately 6 months more of waiting while paperwork gets moved back and forth, back and forth. I am hoping we can travel before school starts, that is my new prayer.

But we are officially in the game :)

Update: Our agency has notified us that our official date is March 11, 2010

Learning to Wait

Waiting is hard, really hard. We've been waiting for 5 weeks to be logged in to China's system and still no word. And this has really gotten to me, I feel so frustrated, our case is not moving forward. Our child sits waiting on us, another month passes.

Emilee is taking a photography class at our church and I ride with her because Taylor likes the children's activities that are held on Wednesday evenings. Last week a couple friends invited me to a group called Mom-to-Mom and its for, well, you guessed it moms :) who can learn from each other how to be strong for their families, and to be a place of support and uplifting for each other. Last week was nice, I really enjoyed it.

But last night blew me away, I believe everything happens for a purpose and I believe I was invited to this group so that I would hear last night's speaker. This woman is a friend, I am honored to know her, she is a doctor, a professor of education, published in her field and she is a mom. She talked last night about the influence a mom has on her family. She spoke about being joyful always, about praying without ceasing, and being thankful in all circumstances. And she talked about waiting. On how hard it is, and how we can and must rely on God as we wait. There is no way to describe what an eloquent speaker she is but she cut through everything I've been feeling and it helped my heart so much. She shared special scripture verses - Isaiah 30:18, Lamentations 3:21-26. Then I really stepped out of my comfort zone and shared with the women at my table how hard it is to know you have a child a world away and be powerless to do anything about it but wait. And a friend at the table shared the verses Psalms 62:5-8. I've met many people who do not understand how you can love a child you've actually never met. But these friends so get it and validated my feelings that I've been having lately. And finally, as I left to pick up Taylor, I ran into another friend who asked me how our adoption was going. I did not go into any detail, I just told her we were waiting and it was really hard. And she said, hold on a minute, and she got out her Bible and opened it up and read to me.

"I will climb my watchtower now, and wait to see what answer God will give to my complaint. And the Lord said to me 'Write my answer on a billboard, large and clear, so that anyone can read it at a glance and rush to tell others. But these things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, do not despair, for these things will surely come to pass. Just be patient. They will not be overdue a single day." That is His promise. Everything will happen when it is supposed to. I feel so much better, that everything happens as it is supposed to. We have Taylor because everything happened in the timing it was supposed to. How could I ever forget that?

So we wait for our LID and it will be issued on the day it should be. And then we will wait for our LOA and we will celebrate big time when we get that! And then we'll wait some more for a few more steps and then we will travel to bring Jennifer home at the exact right time. And I commit to trying to be more joyful while we wait.

I want something to blog..

The days tick by. We are waiting on our LID and it's been over a month since we were DTC (dossier to China) and nothing. Our agency is getting their Beijing contact to ask the powers to be in China if we have been logged in but just haven't updated our "status"...no word. I am so worried our file has been just layed aside somewhere and nothing is happening while our little girl wonders why its taking so long for her family to come get her. And Taylor asks daily when will we get to go and all I can tell her is "hopefully by the summer" and I worry inside that this may not be true.

I saw tons of robins this morning when I took Taylor to school and the signs of spring bring me such great joy and at the same time there is a yearning for time to stand still until our paperwork can be processed and we can move forward as a complete family.